my insecurities don't define me

i allowed my enemies the chance to get to know me, like me, love me, make love to me, dress me up with my white foundation and red lip stick, and leave me. leave me in pieces. shattered for the next person to pick up. because why would i pick up the pieces that i didn’t shatter? why would i cut myself any deeper by allowing myself to reminisce what was? why would i try to recreate a broken mirror? why would i give effort when there’s no energy? no energy left to pour into myself. because once you pour into everyone else’s empty cup... you’re left thirsty. thirsty for love, commitment, strength, sex. all the things that you spent years dedicating to your person. until your person is for the next person. now you’re soul searching. searching for the soul that was snatched during demonizing festivities. you lose focus. you lose peace. you lose confidence. you’re incomplete. you’re stranded. you’re willing to accept pieces to your bigger picture and broken mirror from whoever is available because they’re pouring back into you. they’re giving you what the last person couldn’t. until they’re all out.. and they leave. leave you in pieces. shattered for the next person to pick up. because why would i pick up the pieces that i didn’t shatter? why would i cut myself any deeper by allowing myself to reminisce what was? why would i try to recreate a broken mirror? why would i give effort when there’s no energy?