day 387 of 2020

*flicks light switch*

wait a minute... let me try this again

*flicks switch*

i know i paid the bill...

you would think with it being the 22nd day of january 2021 that it would be all good vibes and “stimmy’s”, but time after time i’ve tried to flick this light on in my life expecting “there to be light” when in reality there’s not even a pulse.

i’ve never been so tired

i’ve never felt so drained

i would rather God just plop on my bed and sing me to sleep at night so i can just feel safe and be happy knowing there’s somebody for the hopeless

my uncle’s prayers

my grandma’s worried calls

my endless gospel playlists that have me crying in my dark, yet candle lit bathroom

...are just not working anymore

but i shall keep on with the keeping on

my dark life won’t be dark forever